


Your Silver Lining's In Sight

by kayura_sanada



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Confessions, Family, Family Feels, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-KHIII, Terra Needs A Hug, Ven Needs A Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-24 08:15:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15626544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayura_sanada/pseuds/kayura_sanada
Summary: Ven confesses to Aqua that he is gay - but there's more to the confession than even Aqua could ever predict.





	Your Silver Lining's In Sight

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from Emmy Rossum's "Lullaby."

Aqua lounged back on the couch as she read her book. Light streamed from the open windows; from her new vantage point, it broke against the back of her head and slanted onto the pages of her book. She stretched her back and settled in.

Only a few minutes later, she heard movement heading into the room. At first, she didn’t pay it any mind; she sat in one of the common rooms, specifically one in the space between their bedrooms and the kitchen, and it was common for one of the boys to head over for a drink or a snack while she lost herself in the pages before her, or for them to head outside and start sparring or something while she relaxed. But then she noticed that the steps were shuffling, and quiet, and coming ever steadily closer. She looked up to see Ven moving glacially toward her, his head down, his fingers twisting together. Immediately she put her book down and turned toward him.

Ven approached the opposite side of the couch, but he didn’t sit or even meet her gaze. He just stood there like a kicked puppy. She frowned. “Ven? What’s wrong?”

Instead of answering, Ven stared at his shoes and said, “do you think you could love me, no matter what?”

Her concern ratcheted up sky high. She sat up straight and patted the seat beside her, motioning for him to sit. He didn’t. Her heart thundered in her chest. “No matter what you’ve done, who you’ve been, or where you’re going, I will always love you.” She said it as succinctly and seriously as she could, willing her conviction to sink into him via osmosis. Instead his shoulders shook and – oh, gods, her heart – Ven stifled a short sob. She reached out, only to pause. What should she do? Of all the things Master Eraqus had trained her for, this was not one of them.

If he’d been here, would he have known what to do?

Ven curled into himself. She leaned forward, but hesitated again. Before she recovered, Ven choked out, “do you think Terra would, too?”

“Of course,” she said, surprise making her honesty blunt. “We love you, Ven.”

But Ven just shook his head, bent nearly full at the waist, and clutched his hands to his chest as if trying to protect them. Or his heart. Tears spilled to the floor. When he spoke again, she had to strain to understand him. “Even if,” he said, and his voice broke and caught on a hiccup and, finally, fell to just a whisper, “even if I’m gay?”

Her heart broke. She wanted to wrap Ven up in her arms, but he looked so on-edge she was afraid he would bolt if she stood up or touched him, and he would be gone before she said the words he clearly needed to hear. She lowered her own voice, matching the atmosphere he’d created, and spoke as soothingly as she could. “Absolutely. That would just be another part of you to love, just like every other.”

Ven burst into great, gulping sobs. Aqua held up her hands, made to scoot forward, and finally stood. Ven didn’t back away, but his sobs didn’t decrease, either. She barely touched his head, and, when he didn’t back away, she carefully held his shoulder, too. “Terra will still love you, too,” she tried, only for his sobs to deepen and his spine to nearly bend in his effort to hide. She hesitated, then tried once more. “I’m bi?” she said, noting that the confession came out as a question and immediately firming her voice. “Don’t you still love me? Don’t you think Terra would?”

He nodded. His sobs had grown so heavy they were interspersed constantly with hiccups. She could feel his entire body trying to break apart, yet he didn’t seem to be getting any calmer. He moved away from her, just enough to make a hug impossible while still remaining in her personal space, and covered his face with his hands. Her hands hovered between them once again, trapped in indecision. She looked up, searching desperately for inspiration, and caught the sight of movement from the corner of her eye. Terra stood at the entrance of the room, his gaze wide-eyed on Ven’s broken form. She shook her head madly and made a shooing motion before the man could come racing in and startle Ven into silence. Terra’s lips pulled back, his gaze caught on Ven. She could see the muscles in his shoulders, even more tense now that she’d stymied his instinctive reaction.

Seeing him wanting to help reminded her of what was really important. She ignored the space Ven had tried to place between them and enfolded him in her arms, hugging tight. She dared one last glare at Terra, a warning for him to leave, and then put all her focus on the young man before her. “No matter what,” she said, making it a vow, “Terra and I will never turn away from you. If you’re too scared to believe that just yet, that’s fine. You don’t ever need to speak of it again. But I promise you. You could say you collect peoples’ hearts in your spare time, and the only thing we’d do is try to get you to return them.” The sobs died down a little in surprise. She continued, careful not to say Terra’s name, cognizant both of the fact that Terra hadn’t left and that Ven’s despair seemed to grow whenever she mentioned him. “Even if you were like Vanitas and held so much darkness you could spawn heartless from your backside–” a surprised chuckle “–I will still love you. If you suddenly sprouted poisonous barbs all over your body, I would still hug you, just like this. I would just have to use Esuna afterward.” Slowly, slowly, the hiccups subsided, and the sobs turned to deep, wet sniffles. She waited patiently, never loosening her grip. Ven never once tried to get away. Finally, the sniffling became more an attempt to keep clean than an attempt to control the sobbing. She leaned her head onto his. “I will always love you, Ven. Always.” She rubbed her cheek against his head. “Okay?”

Slowly, Ven nodded. She started to pull away, only for Ven to suddenly grab her clothes. She returned to hugging him. For the first time in countless minutes, she looked up, only to see that Terra hadn’t yet left. She mouthed at him to _leave_ , only for Ven to speak. His voice was soft, and muffled into her chest, but she understood it. Which meant Terra, straining against the leash she’d imposed on him, had heard it, as well. “Terra will hate me.”

“ _Never.”_

Ven jumped out of her arms. Aqua glared over at Terra, but he looked almost as surprised at his outburst as Ven. He seemed to recover faster, however, and made to step forward. Ven’s gaze snapped over to him. Terra stopped cold, likely getting the same sense she had – that Ven was about to bolt. “I could _never_ hate you. I don’t know what’s going on, or why you’re hurting, but – if it’s because of me–” Terra stopped, took a deep breath. Something flashed in his gaze. Something she’d seen countless times before, but had never thought too deeply on before. Something that looked like _longing._ “Know that you could hurt me, kill me. Hate me. Destroy me. And I would never, _ever_ stop loving you.”

Ven flinched. His eyes, still wide as saucers, never left Terra’s face, as if he was searching for a sign that Terra was lying. But he wasn’t. Aqua had already known Terra loved Ven. She just hadn’t before seen how _desperately_ he loved him. Suddenly everything Xehanort had been able to do to Terra made sense. Every action Terra had taken, the desperation, the fear, the anger. She had to blink rapidly to avoid crying now, herself.

Ven, however, did not take comfort in his words. As she watched, he covered his eyes again and shook his head. “This is so much _worse_ than that!”

This wasn’t about being gay, Aqua realized. It came to her slowly, yet it felt as if she’d known from the beginning. It had been so obvious. Of _course_ they would still love him if he was gay. He may have feared it, but telling her, telling the both of them, wouldn’t have brought him to such despair. No. He was afraid of what being gay would entail for them. Because he’d had sex with someone? Because he wanted someone inappropriate? Because he’d done something he’s ashamed of? She opened her mouth to respond, but Terra beat her to it.

“I don’t care.” Nothing else. After several seconds, Ven dared look at Terra again. “I don’t care,” he said again, more softly this time.

Aqua held herself very, very still, afraid that a single moment might break the slight hope blossoming on Ven’s face. “Even if… if I…” She thought Terra would interrupt, but he let Ven search for words. “If my love is gross?” he whispered finally.

“There is no such thing,” Aqua said, stupidly, and Ven flinched. They all knew better; Xehanort’s idea of love, for instance, had most certainly been _‘gross.’_

Terra didn’t break eye contact with Ven. Didn’t let her ruin the moment. “Those who hurt others with their love,” Terra said quietly, “do not fear they might be hurting another with it.”

It took so long. If Aqua had held her breath, she would have broken the moment again by needing to breathe. “But,” Ven said, and stopped. And started again. “I love you.”

Terra flinched. His eyes squinted as he took the blow. She wasn’t the only one to see it; Ven did, too, and nearly curled into himself. His gaze dropped again to the floor. Aqua watched as Terra pushed the pain away and stood tall. “And the darkness inside me placed you in danger,” he said. “You’re… right that it may be unhealthy to love me. I… am sorry, that–”

“No!” Ven snapped. He seemed to freeze up at his own reaction. His gaze flew up, then back down. His hands curled into fists, and with a deep breath, he looked up again. “Not… I don’t love you like a friend. _That’s_ what’s wrong! Not you!”

Aqua closed her eyes. Gods, they were all so very stupid.

She stepped forward and put a hand on Ven’s shoulder. Across the room, Terra, out of reach, stared at Ven as if he hadn’t understood what the blond was saying. She reached out to him. “Both of you. Come here.”

It took some time. Both of them looked at her like she might about be ready to throw fire up their asses. Terra tip-toed further, staring hard at her – fair, since she’d been glaring at him to leave for the longest time – then, looking back at Ven, he squared his shoulders and marched forward like he was walking to the gallows. Light pierced through the windows. As he walked forward, it flashed along his cheeks, his hair, the folds of his shirt as they conformed to his muscles. Now, now that she was _looking_ , she could see how Ven’s gaze was caught by Terra. It always had been, since he’d first come to them. Now she understood why.

She pet Ven’s head as Terra came to a stop before them. She shook her outstretched hand until Terra finally took it. “First,” she said, “I’m sorry.” Both turned their faces to her with scrunched brows. “I should have noticed sooner. If I had, the both of you would have been spared.” She bent a bit to stare at Ven on his level. Terra had to bend down to accommodate her, as she still held his hand. “Loving us will never be wrong. I promise you, the love you feel is beautiful. I’m so, so happy for you, and so proud. It must have been difficult to come to me today.”

Ven pressed his lips together. She watched as more tears prepared to fall. Hopefully, this time, they would come with a smile.

She looked up and raised a brow. Terra immediately knelt to one knee beside them. “Terra. The same goes for you.” Surprise flitted across his face. Then came that familiar shuttered look, as he tried to push it all away. Ven looked at Terra with wide eyes. “The love you feel is just as beautiful, and just as good.” The closed off look increased. “Ven. You say you don’t love Terra as a friend. I don’t want to force either of you to say anything, but this hurt has to end. Don’t you agree?”

Ven looked away. “It can’t.”

Terra, in true Terra fashion, said, “it’s not that simple.”

“Maybe not,” she pressed, and squeezed Terra’s hand, “but maybe it needs to be done, anyway.” She begged him with her eyes. She looked at Ven, then back to Terra, as if to say, _what’s more important?_

Terra stared at her. His gaze searched her, looking to see what she was laying bare. Did she know? Was she truly accepting it? She smiled and nodded. “Tell him,” she said, softly enough that he knew it wasn’t an order, but a plea. “He needs to know. And so do you.”

This time, when Terra breathed in, the air stuttered audibly in his chest. “I’ve – I’ve always thought I would be happy – happy _enough_ – just like this.” Ven looked back at him. Even though she was still by their sides, even though she still held on to the both of them, she felt herself slip to their periphery, until she almost seemed not to exist at all. She smiled again. “But it continues to hurt. I – I don’t want you feeling that way. Whatever you feel for me. I will be whatever you need – your friend, your brother, your… your father figure,” Terra said, choking the words out, “if you want. But I’ve always wanted more. I’ve always _needed_ more.” Terra licked his lips. “I’ve always loved you more.”

Ven’s eyes turned impossibly wide. Aqua gently released her touch on his head as Ven inched closer to Terra. “I – I’ve loved you for _so long._ ” His breath hitched. He reached out a trembling hand. Aqua let go of Terra’s so he could grasp it within both of his. “For so, so long. Vanitas made fun of me for it, kept saying I wanted my brother, but he was wrong.” Ven shook his head. The tears fell, though it seemed mostly due to the tracks already made, giving them an easier escape. “You were never a brother to me.”

Terra pulled Ven to him. Ven fell into the hug, wrapped his hands around Terra, and cried loudly into his chest. Terra rested his head on Ven’s shoulder, his legs giving out enough that he had to alter his position until he was sitting down. Aqua carefully stood and moved away, giving them space. By the look of Terra’s shoulders, Ven wasn’t the only one crying.

“For the record,” she whispered, low enough that perhaps only Terra would hear her, “I absolutely love the both of you. Just as you are.”

Terra’s head shifted until she could see his face, streaked with the silent tears she’d predicted. Shakily, he mouthed two short words before returning his focus to Ven and hugging him tight.

_Thank you._


End file.
